Not only do you have to spend time healing, but you also have to demonstrate what you heal at some point. Demonstrating what you heal is the hardest.
For me, the hardest part of healing is becoming a part of the internet sensation. I am not a shy person. I love a good eye connection. I can be in the company of like-minded people and even have a speaking engagement with confidence.
Online, however, especially social media is an inner I fought so hard to accomplish. I don't know who is behind the computers communicating with me.
Two years ago I had a horrific experience with intense stalking. It was so bad I had to deactivate all my social media. I had turned off my phone for over 13 months but refused to change my number.
Though knew the main person behind the lie, I didn't know the group behind the attack. I knew they were associated with each other.
I was able to confront the woman who was stalking me in person but was never allowed the chance to confront the people behind social media.
So right now I am struggling with trusting anything I cannot see and it is a way I fighting within.
When I post on social media platforms I am posting for myself. To overcome the war I am fighting within. I am not posting for likes, comments, or followers. However, lately, I've been getting inboxes asking me why I closed my comments section. I was very surprised because I wasn't looking for anyone to notice. I was so busy trying to fight a battle within.
For days these inbox messages left me a bit down and I was overwhelmed and thinking about how to respond.
Today my deep knowing said “ do not” time is master of everything.
I also realized I was working too hard on healing that trauma instead of just flowing and letting it happen.
Healing is hard I swear but I'm here for it. 🙏