I Abandoned Myself, So the Universe Mirrored It Back

I Abandoned Myself, So the Universe Mirrored It Back

For years, I couldn't understand why betrayal seemed to be a signature throughout my life.

Different people. Different relationships. Different circumstances.

Yet somehow, the lesson kept arriving in the same clothes.

Betrayal. Abandonment. Disappointment.

Eventually, I had to stop asking, “Why do people keep doing this to me?”

I had to ask a much harder question:

“What is this pattern trying to show me about me?”

And that question changed everything.

I Had Been Abandoning Myself

For years, I was a people pleaser.

I made sure everybody else was okay before I ever considered whether I was okay.

I supported other people's dreams while neglecting my own.

I poured energy into other people's lives while my own gifts sat untouched.

I possessed talents, ideas, knowledge, creativity, vision, and purpose—but somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that everyone else's needs deserved priority over mine.

I didn't recognize it as betrayal at the time.

I called it love.

I called it loyalty.

I called it sacrifice.

I called it being a good person.

But energetically, something entirely different was happening.

I was abandoning myself.

Every time I silenced my own needs to keep someone else comfortable, I abandoned myself.

Every time I postponed my dreams because someone else needed something from me, I abandoned myself.

Every time I saw greatness in everybody except the woman staring back at me in the mirror, I abandoned myself.

And eventually, life began reflecting that energy back to me.

The Universe Became My Mirror

One of the deepest esoteric lessons I have learned is that life has a strange way of making the invisible visible.

The patterns we cannot recognize internally often appear externally through circumstances, relationships, and repeated experiences.

And apparently, the universe was tired of my shit.

Because the lesson kept getting louder.

😂

People abandoned me.

People betrayed me.

People overlooked me.

People benefited from my sacrifices and still chose themselves when the moment came.

And for years, I only saw what they were doing.

I didn't see the mirror.

They were choosing themselves while I continuously refused to choose myself.

They were prioritizing themselves while I consistently placed myself last.

They were showing me externally what I had already been practicing internally.

That realization was painful.

But it was also liberating.

Because once I saw the pattern, I could finally change it.

Betrayal Became a Teacher

This doesn't mean another person's harmful behavior becomes acceptable.

People are still responsible for what they choose to do.

But I am responsible for understanding what an experience teaches me about my own patterns, boundaries, energy, and choices.

And betrayal taught me something I desperately needed to learn:

You cannot continuously abandon yourself and expect your outer world never to reflect abandonment.

At some point, the cycle has to end.

Not by controlling other people.

Not by begging someone to value you.

Not by convincing someone to choose you.

But by finally choosing yourself.

The Frequency Changed When I Did

Today, I understand the lesson differently.

I don't have to prove my worth through sacrifice.

I don't have to exhaust myself to demonstrate love.

I don't have to abandon my purpose to rescue everyone around me.

And I certainly don't have to shrink my gifts because I was conditioned to believe everyone else deserved the spotlight before me.

I have spent enough years putting myself last.

Now I pour into my gifts.

I honor my knowledge.

I use my voice.

I protect my energy.

I pursue what was placed inside of me.

And most importantly:

I no longer betray myself to maintain relationships with other people.

Maybe that was the lesson all along.

The universe didn't need to keep sending the same mirror once I finally recognized the reflection.

The people changed.

The circumstances changed.

But the lesson remained until I changed.

And now I understand why betrayal was such a signature throughout my life.

It wasn't only showing me who other people were.

It was showing me where I had abandoned myself.

Once I came home to myself, the mirror no longer had the same lesson to teach.

I changed the energy.

I mastered the lesson.

And I closed the cycle.

💜 Raquel McKenzie (VERONIC) 💜